Objective Reasons Why Country Music Sucks

Today is country day in the office. It's a painful day without the moral support of my iPod. While my iPod sits here and charges, I thought I might take some time to explore the objective things that make country suck.

1. Intellectual Face-Palm - Sure it's subjective to say that a southern accent makes you sound stupid. I would argue that the slow draw in your voice has a direct correlation to being all-around slow. I feel like I get dumber when I hear anything of the sort. That's a personal thing and I understand that. However, the use and acceptance of improper English achieves the same thing, but with more objectivity. Phrases such as, "gonna' get me..." and words like "ain't," find a home with country music (yes, I’ve heard both today). Sure, that's the vernacular of the country subculture, but the fact that it is improper won’t change.

2. Repetition – I remember when I was younger and had someone explain country music to me. They said that it was all about a few basic topics: a lost love, a dying dog, or a dead truck. Sure, you could probably add drinking to the list, as well as tractors, but that’s pretty much it. In the days of Johnny Cash, it was about stories. Storytelling was something that the genre actually had going for it. And it has left that go.

3. Musicality – I complain about this over most all genres. Occasionally you see some instrumentation to include a fiddle, banjo, or slide guitar. Aside from that, it’s the same radio-friendly instrumentation playing the same radio-friendly progressions. The genre has slowly worked itself into a progressively smaller and smaller box. Originality is gone.

Generalizations. Yes, I know that these are. There have been songs that I’ve heard and, putting my bias aside, have recognized as good music. Like in any genre, generalizations speak louder than a single gem. And that’s important to recognize. But maybe a genre where objective flaws such as these can be found doesn't deserve a chance?

---edit---
pt 2 can be found here.